Now for my best facebook comments

First my ones to Les:

i think your status is rude and demeaning. so naturally i'm not at all surprised to see it on your page

Like i told you yesterday, you already woke me up talking. Go ahead with the smoothie. SLC would be fun but i don't think Deathcab is allowed on a voyage like that.
"The first order comes to...$2.79. The second order comes to.........$2.79. And the third order, what was it again? It comes to...(ten minutes)...$2.79."

Michelle: "If they cancel Friday Night Lights i'll kill myself."
Leslie: " Yeah then the police will call looking for motive and i'll say, well she was pretty upset FNL was canceled. Then i'll get a lawyer and we'll prosecute. I'll call up NBC and accuse them of murder."
Michelle: "YOU KILLED MY FRIEND, YOU BASTARD!"
Leslie: " Don't worry hailey, she's just quoting Dumb and Dumber."
Michelle: "Yeah i don't just say that word whenever i want."

Blog shmog- like i care what you are doing this summer. And thanks spell check for red underlining the word shmog. is it really spelled wrong? really?

Hey babies thanks for having a super complicated circulatory system that differs greatly fetal to postnatal. Why don't you just grow up already and circulate blood like an adult?

Leslie:" Wait, I can't find my keys. MAYDAY i can't find my keys. Where are my keys. i can't find them."
Smith's Employee: "Your keys are on your wrist."
Leslie: "What would i do without Smith's employees?"

"Look, I'm stephanie pratt."
"Ha ha you do look like her."

"No, this nap is not wasting time. Actually, we should be in class right now, so it's not like we would be studying anyway."

My feet bled like a pioneer who had been forced out of Missouri on a cold winter night.

You want to study with me? what happened, did Lynn die or something?

Lab Instructor: " So any questions on the heart and the attached pace maker?"
Mitch: " I have a question. I was wondering how one would go about removing a pace maker. I'm having a little trouble accomplishing this on Trauma Center. I keep losing the patient. Any tips?"

I'm sorry your car got booted. What a tragedy. Tragedy like in the Titanic. Which we will be watching after you go pay off the criminals that booted your car. Question: Do you think the Cache Valley Booting Company is in direct descendance from the Gadianton robbers?

We should go beat up Lauren right now.

Hey do you have plans tonight? Cause if not you are invited to a slumber party in my room. More like my room is the only place in B30 anyone can slumber.

Sweet profile pic. The photography is amazing... It truly captures the magic of ward ski night

Cheech, I'm sorry about the argument over the cheese. When did we become that couple? And i'm sorry i said you would die if you ate my Chex. They are just really good. The cupboard is always open.

The OC is calling... can you hear it? Season 3 is just around the corner. PS do i look like a psycho in my profile pic? Let me know so i am not humiliated on the world wide web. You know like you did when i almost wore that beanie to the cruise meeting.

So i was walking home from the gym and i had my headphones. I got to 8th and on those steps i saw a guy walking with his three kids, one is his arm and a boy and girl following behind him all dressed up in winter clothes and hats. I thought to myself, oh how cute. Wouldn't it just be great to take your kids out to go play in the snow on a wintery afternoon? Then my song ended and i heard the dad yelling at the two kids to stop playing in the snow and hurry and walk cause the baby was crying and it was cold outside. (All children were under three years old.) Then i was glad i could go home and be all alone and study physics in quiet.

Lillian walks in: "What are you guys doing?"
Michelle points to the fake cameras in the corner of the room, and Lauren explains we are pretending to be on MTV.
Leslie:"Say Hi Lillian!"

Nice tribute to snow hall with your profile picture. Honestly Leslie, when are you going to stop living in the past? Last time i checked it was 2008 and you were 20.

So were you guys at the game on Halloween? Oh, you were? Well did you see the skeletons with the signs that said 'Knock Em Dead?' Yeah that was us.

Watching scrubs alone is like a waste of entertainment. I hate it but alas i think i will go watch scrubs

So i walked out of our apartment today to go running and i heard a banging noise. To my surprise, there was a bird in the hall and it was flying into the window trying to get out. So i freaked out and accidentally swore- i'm sure the relief society pres heard me- and i ran back inside. All of the sudden i came up with a plan, one i saw in the movie enchanted. All i had to do was sing to the bird and it would surely follow me to safety. Luckily my voice is so enchanting i only had to speak to the bird. It looked at me and after some encouragement it followed me down the stairs and out the door. I waved as it flew away. I saw it land in a tree and it sang back a sweet song, thanking me for saving its life.

I tried to sit by Doug when we were watching Young Guns and he moved. It couldn't be for the fact that I only had one eye of makeup done or ratty hair. You are still wife number one.

I think killing yourself is a good idea and I can help you if you need it.

Hey we both have an album called random part two. that is random

Is that a Cuisinart? How is it working for you? Does it make good toast? yes it burns bread quite well...

OC tonight? Now that we got rid of Lauren we won't have to spend our time pretending to be her friend...]